Children’s Physical Health Suffers When Mothers are Absent

nathan W

I am lucky enough, or not lucky some would say, to have experienced both sides of childhood; living with mother always at home and living without a mother at home. My mother stayed at home and tended to the home like tradition would have it and I enjoyed this very much. When I was fourteen my mom decided to go back to work. Immediately I saw a difference in my families eating habits and overall health. The number of family meals we had weekly dramatically decreased solely due to the fact that my mother was too tired to prepare a decent meal for a large family of six. So, the primary solution was to eat out or snack at home. I saw a difference in the way I was raised and my younger brothers were, and I have to say I was glad to be brought up by a stay at home mom. Since it is a known fact that families that communicate and help each other with their problems, I truly believe that working moms put their kids behind.

Disagree

Munroe

Rebecca: "In addition to sleep deprivation, the percentage of overweight children has tripled since mothers began to enter the workforce in droves."  How can it be determined what causes overweight children?  At the time women began to enter the workforce I am sure there were other social changes that lent a hand to the obesity epidemic, such as the increasing number of fast food chains.  Also, just because a parent is out working does not mean the children can not exercise.  Once again it all goes back to lifestyle, for there are many families that still believe in keeping their children healthy, even while working.

Kimberly

When a mother is keeping a hawk's eye on her child for twenty-four hours of each day of the week, she is able to control each and every item that enters her child's mouth. In this way, her presence most definitely effects the child's weight, for she is the one who determines what is healthy and what is not. If the child is being watched by someone else, they may want to take the easy route and give the child sweets or the like simply to keep them happy. By being around her child all day, a mother is also able to teach the child what is healthy and what is not. She can instill her own values in the child and he will model her and her habits, rather than a stranger's.
I can also agree with Rebecca, however, when she comments on the actual cause of weight gain. When a mother decides she needs to enter the workforce, it may be because the economy is down, similar to today. According to a recent article in the NY Times, "Energy-dense munchies cost on average $1.76 per 1,000 calories, compared with $18.16 per 1,000 calories for low-energy but nutritious foods." It is the slumping economy that can therefore be attributed to the mother's absence (due to working) and the child's weight gain occurring simultaneously. There are far too many factors leading to weight gain for one to place the blame on the mother's absence.

Shannon: Sleep is a very important part of a developing child's life, but it is not something that is only affected when both parents work outside of the home. Being an honors high school student there are many everyday activities such as homework, college preperation, and having a semblance of a social life that can affect one's sleep. Experts say that children should get at least 9 hours of sleep a night, but this is unrealistic with the amount of things a child has to accomplish in a day. This can also be attributed to a the statistic of overweight children. This rise in obesity can be linked to how many activites a child does leaving no time to get in three well-balanced meals a day. These two instances should not be blamed on working moms, rather on socitey and the pressure it puts on children to be the best at everything they do.

Working Moms Provide for Their Families

Jackie B.

Alex S

michelle m (olson) 

Grace G: With the economy in the slump it's in, the statement that families need the extra income from a working mother is very true. I personally know of families that the mother got a part-time job just the make some extra cash for the upcoming holidays or a family vacation. This didn't completely destroy the development of the children. These children were more provided for and could experience more and exciting events. @ the comment below: Sometimes families are able to find family or friends to care for their children for next to nothing.

Nathan W:

Children’s Emotional Development Suffers When Mothers are Absent

Grace G:  When the mother or father takes her or his child to daycare, what message does this send to the child? Some children will think it's just another day to spend with my friends having fun BUT other children may take it as abandonment. No matter if the parents are almost perfect and rear their children with love and affection, some children just have to have one of their parents with them during the day.

Munroe: In response to “Depends on the Child”, the emotional well-being of a child does have the chance to be affected, but overall, it is not. If daycare was found to be such a problem, then daycare would no longer be used because of the large majority of parents worrying about their children. But because daycare is still used, daycare simply provides a learning environment for a child while the mother is at work. In fact, daycare can be quite similar to pre-school, which has been found to be beneficial for a child.

Kimberly 

Shannon: I will not deny that children who spend more time away from their mother will have a different relationship than a child that spends a lot of time with their mother, however, which child is worse off? "Young children do not form a strong attachment to a person they little of" but on the other side of that, if a child spends too much time with thier mother they could also have too strong of an attachment. This can lead to even worse problems. If a child is not very attached to thier mother, they may look for attachment somewhere else but if a child is too attached they may fall into the trap of never being able to function without thier mother. Many children that try to leave home for college and such come back because they don't know how to make decisions for themselves or they simply never leave. If a mother attempts to have the same attachment to thier child when they are 18 as when they were 4 there is no growth.
Also, "Quality time" can be a good thing because this can help the child feel special since thier mother is putting aside time just for thier child, rather then just always seeing them.

Daycare Benefits Children

Leanne

Munroe: Although it varies with individual cases, daycare is not always a horrible idea. As the article says, daycare allows for more interaction among children at a younger age, which promotes socialistic behaviors. Increased interactions can help the child later in life, especially if the child attends pre-school. From these instances, the child is not hurt because their mother works, but benefits from the introduction of things outside their home. Although the child may also be introduced to illness, the children are generally better off by their preparation for pre-school and grammar school. Interaction with others and the ability to not cling to their mothers are two resources children need for later in life.

Lauren

Children of Working Mothers Often Struggle With Boundaries

Grace G: When children are with their parents, they should be receiving discipline from both parents. But at a daycare, the child may not be getting the right discipline for their wrong actions. In effect, the child may attempt to get away with these actions at home and eventually will succeed.

Grace G: From the argument that “working mothers are also less inclined to discipline their children during the hours they are with them simply because they have not seen them all day and do not want to spend what little time they have together having an argument,” my point of view was formed. I believe that working mothers do not want to punish their children after not seeing them all day. These mothers may feel as if their children will only see them as absent disciplinarians. Others may argue that the children will appreciate the discipline, but how can a young child or teenager understand this position? These mothers have a huge fence to straddle and most of the decision will be based on the family’s values and situations.

Shannon: First, preschool teachers choose the profession that they have expecting young children that are often unruly for the simple fact that they are young children. Also, if one looks at a family demographic, if there is a father in the picture, he tends to be the one to shell out the most dicipline, leading one to believe that it is he who should be home the most in order to control the children. Things such as power struggles do often occur at home but it is my belief that they happen because the child wants to be an individual at certain times, not because they resent their mother from working. Children lash out constantly, mainly for reasons that are illogical but whether or not their mother works would not be high on my list for why they decided to do this. Based on my own experience, I do not believe that mothers hold back on disciplining their child just because they work. There are mothers that discipline to frequently, and those that don't do it enough. This says more about the mother's personality than anything else. As a child grows, many hours are commenly spent arguing whether a mother works or not; it is simply a fact of life that children agrue and disagree with their parents.

Lauren: I disagree with your assertion, Shannon, that fathers typically have the disciplinary role in the family. I know a lot of fathers who tend to be the "cool parent" and the mothers are the tough ones. I can certainly see where working mothers could potentially struggle with boundaries, not necessarily in the sense of teaching a child right from wrong, but boundaries in the sense of neatness and similar household boundaries. For example, I used to be ridiculously sloppy with my clothes, but since my mom was around and had the task of doing my laundry she was able to instill some sort of discipline on me in the form of neatness. A working mom could certainly do this too, but a stay-at-home mom would have more time to devote to disicipline.

While preschools are supposed to teach children proper manners, if a mother is not home to enforce these manners at home, chances are these manners will not stick. I know some high school teachers currently to attribute some students' lack of manners to their parents not properly taking the time to discipline them.

Working Moms Make Happy Moms

Grace G: If a woman graudates from college with a degree she is passionate about, wouldn't she be happy when she works at a job that is in the area of that degree? Yes. I belive working mothers can be happy. Now on the other hand, mothers can really hate their job, which eventually will make her a sad mother.

Nathan W: True

Full-Time Day Care Causes Health and Behavior Problems in Children

Grace G: In the author’s response to “Full-Time Day Care Causes Health and Behavior Problems in Children” argument, she stated that “children in day care suffer from higher rates of illness (such as) ear infections.” I deem that daycare is not the only place children receive their infections. Children can catch viruses any where from stores to interaction with their parents. Some may argument the risk is increased at daycare. The majority of the cases of the common cold and the flu are just from connections with random friends and family the children see every day, not just a daycare. Daycare maybe a catalyst for illnesses but they are not the primary source.

Nathan W: @najma j "It is ultimately the home environment and a parent's way of upbringing and disciplining a child that will effect the behaviour, not the daycare or school"
If the parent is not there to care for the child then he or she is sent to a day care, where the child learns the majority of their values. It is the parents fault for dumping their child off at a childcare facility where they know their child will not learn important values. Either way, if a child has bad health or behavioral issues it is purely the parents fault.

Rebecca: In response to Nathan W.'s comment, I agree that parents are responsible for their child's upbringing.  But if they can't stay home with them, then their job is to find a proper daycare that enforces the values they teach at home.

Rebecca: Suzanne Venker's view on anger and aggression places blame on "teacher turnover".  However, she never mentions the benefits of meeting new teachers and how that enables the children to transition more easily into classes where teachers change all the time.  Also, for many daycares there is more than one teacher so it is not as if all the adult figures are leaving.  According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, "More than 80 percent of child day care services establishments employ fewer than 20 workers".  Children come into contact with so many people that the absence of one or two people will not psychologically damage them.

Kimberly

In response to Rebecca’s comment, the issue of “teacher turnover” can most definitely be a cause of psychological issues. During the early years of a child’s life he is determining whether he can trust people or not. When teachers are constantly coming and going, the child instantly assesses his world as untrustworthy. Added to that, his mother is also coming and going, when she ought to be the most trustworthy individual in his life.

Really No "Yes" or "No" Answer, Benefits and Drawbacks to All Choices

Families Fare Better Economically When a Parent Stays Home

Shannon

Munroe: While wealth does play into the role of a working mother, whether or not one is wealthy does not have a major affect on the raising of a child. Shay’s argument is mainly about the ability of parent’s to manage their income, but the amount is income is somewhat irrelevant. A mother is a mother and would raise her child equally whether being a wealthy stay at home mother or a single parent. Each mother is providing for her child and giving her child all that she has to give. Whether or not the family knows how to manage their money is about their economic abilities, not their child raising abilities. Each situation needs to be examined individually, but as a whole, each family is not affected by all economic factors.

Rebecca: Suzanne Venker's argument that two-income families cost more is nothing but speculation.  She blames it on lifestyle, claiming that those families spend more money on laundry, eating out, etc., but that has nothing to do with it.  Just because the parents are out does not mean they slack off at home.  Instead, it all depends on how they handle their time before and after work.  Rather than eating out, the mother or father should plan the meal ahead of time and save leftovers for later.  Especially during these hard economic times when money is of great importance, many are watching how they spend and focusing on the essentials.

Individual Circumstances Dictate Choices, But Loving Care Has Benefits

Grace G: As the author of the argument stated “many families rely on extended family or close friends to provide care.” I know from a first hand experience that extended family’s care is close to being the same as a mother’s care. My mom, a new grandmother for five months, keeps my nephew during the day as my sister works. This care is not different than my sister’s care. If my mother reared my sister, wouldn’t my mom care my nephew the same way? Most mothers agree that they would choose their own mothers to care for their children than total strangers. Some media shows display the idea that women don’t want their children to be raised like the women were, but this is not want I have experienced. Most hard working women I know that have children admire their mothers and love to have their mothers take care of their own children.

Munroe: In today’s efforts to both support equal rights between men and women and the current state of the economy, it is no wonder that mothers are torn between staying at home with their children and getting a job outside of the home. I agree with the post in that the mother is providing for her children by getting a job by adding money and independence to a household. Because a child has a working mother does not mean that they will be raised poorly. A working mother has many options in which she can put her child in a safe and healthy environment. As the article stated, extended families and even the father of the child are both viable options. Mothers are not the only caregivers of a child.

The Question About Whether Mothers Should Work is Misleading

Kimberly

Shannon: In response to Kimberly: You say that a mother's job requires 100% of her devotion, but I disagree because if a mother had to put 100% into her job in rasing her children, she would not be able to do anything else, including a job. While if one decides to to become a mother, that should be a priority, children do not need rasing for very long. 18 years seems like a long time to the child, but really by the age of 12 a child is branching off to become an individual person. Plus, I believe it is impossible to put 100% into anything because in order to do this, one would have to drive everything else from thier mind besides that task. I don't believe that anyone can do that or that they would want to. One should not have to make the decision to become a mother OR a career woman. If she wants both, and she puts effort into both, she should have both.

Lauren

Parents Deserve Honest Discussion of Daycare's Effects on Kids

Alex S

Shannon: In response to Alex: Any study done is likely to have some bias as Alex points out. I agree with the idea that what one should look at is the daycare system, not at the working mothers. Even if a working mom desperately needed somewhere for her child to go while she is at work, she would not risk that child's saftey or well being if she had any knowledge of that daycare being inadequate. Ideas expressed in the article say that behavioral issues or attachement issues can become created but these issues can manifest themselves if they are comstantly at home with thier mother too. There are good and bad points to daycare but, like Alex, I believe it is not the mothers fault.   

Grace G: The author acknowledged that “awareness of these issues won’t change their decisions to work, but may make them more vigilant about looking for warning signs in their children for problem behaviors.” I totally agree with her. The mothers will be better educated on the symptoms of harmful effects of the daycare on their own children and take action quicker. Like the author said the awareness of the cautioning indications may not alter the mother final stand, but will give her an extra edge.